#field agent

[dancing-drake]

Okay, rookies. If you end up becoming an MTF operative/field agent, remember that not a single fucking soul has a cool callsign/nickname.

None.

Those are usually a result of a:

1. Funny story;

2. Humiliating story;

3. A funny story when you fucked up real hard and it's still humiliating.

It also can be the result of a peculiar trait of the bearer, e.g. our dear misspelled Agent "UkElele". He literally has an ukulele. He's a fucking bard with a shotgun and absolutely insane charisma stats for a short guy.

As for the other lads out there... Mmmmmhmph. The cooler the name, the more embarrassing must be the backstory of the regal bearer.

Just to set an example, years ago we've got a cat in the barracks and, naturally, gave it a nickname. "Spider" must sound cool, aye? Jokes on you, the cat dined with Christmas tinsel once and pooped sparkly ropes for a week, creating intricate webbings of shit all over the place.

D'you get it now?

And GODS FORBID you lie about the origins of the nickname or try to choose it yourself – you'll be given a worse one.

You think it can't possibly be worse? It can. It always can be.

[cantdoitlikeus]

Okay honestly is Field Agent still Alive?

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[muzzlemouths]

"sleeper agent" this and "the brainrot returned" that. those robots have had me by the throat since 2021 and they aren't letting go

[morganbritton132]

Thinking once more about The FBI spying on the party. Specifically about one agent who insists that each party member should have a code name, but picks the least helpful code names of all time.

Like no one else uses them and the guy just uses the party’s initials so you get conversations like:

Agent Todd: Awe man, JB found another one of our bugs

Agent Johnston: Jonathan Byers found a bug?

Agent Todd: What? No. Joyce Byers

Agent Todd: It looks we got a lot of Hs and Bs congregating together. Should we be concerned?

Agent Moore: That. Is. Not. Informative.

Agent Michaels: Is Bauman one of the Bs?

Agent Todd: No.

Agent Michaels: Don’t waste my time.

Agent Todd, in the field: Damn it, I lost the trail on JH

Agent Johnston, Moore & Michaels: YOU LOST THE GIRL!!???

Agent Todd: What? No. Abshire is tailing the kids. I’m talk about Jim Hop - oh.

Agent Todd, clearly running: Didn’t lose him! He turned around! He’s chasing - *sound of someone getting the shit kicked out of them*

Agent Johnston, Moore & Michaels: *hesitates to call in backup*

[harrisskah]

May 30: Any other owca agent + ....Museum 🫣

Hosted by @animationnut🌟, @pftones3482⭐and @howtonerdoutovereverything🌠

[redinthesea]

Sun God of Liberation, Patron Saint of Silliness, but most importantly, Official No.1 Enemy of the State

[lordsireno]

Agent Washington getting hit by this car I saw that reminded me of Agent Washington

[hyper-alice]

I know he’s not TECHNICALLY Mac’s son in canon but I like to believe he still is because that’s hilarious

Mac’s just like “you’re an idiot, son, but you’re my idiot son and that’s the only reason you’re still a field agent because you’re going to get us all killed”

[just-hyde]

How Simon really looks at you

–because you're a bitch in dire need of therapy.

I made him a server emoji

[emilys-bangs]

I always read in fanfics that Emily has a perfect poker face being raised up as an ambassador’s daughter and having to constantly shield her emotions and all, and I feel like in all technicality that would be true and a fun hc but sometimes I find it so funny because that woman cannot keep a straight face to save her LIFE. She’s definitely careful with her words, but her facial expressions are such a dead giveaway loll she’s so expressive. Doesn’t even have to speak to let you know what she’s thinking and I love that, Miss I-can-compartmentalize-my-feelings-but-can’t-keep-them-from-showing-on-my-face Prentiss.

[babyblueetbaemonster]

Underwater battle, underwater run Underwater ripple and some underwater fun

In Skyrim, we paddle paddle

I think it's a little disappointing that we can have waterbreathing effects in Skyrim, but we can't attack or shout. Which means we're completely vulnerable against the slaughterfish. I want to yell at fish pls

I mean we don't have underwater dungeon in Skyrim to begin with, but there are chests in the water. It's annoying when I can't swim in peace. Gonna loot fast.

Bonus:

In ESO, we die

[coffeeandjuice]

Average day in the watchtower:

John: kys

Ava: To get away from you, I might

[tobiasdrake]

The best thing about Spy X Family is that the fake family that Loid fabricated for his spy mission is really good at being a family but really bad at being a spy mission.

Yor's murdering is going great, though. She made out like a bandit in this whole deal.

[puppiesareperfect]

It’s possible I’m biased as someone who’s working towards an education degree, but I genuinely think Doof’s redemption arc would’ve hit better post-series if they stuck with him being a science teacher. For one I genuinely enjoyed Doof101, it was nice to get a different setting for once. And Perry being his weird little teacher’s assistant who makes sure he doesn’t blow up the place was fun. But also like, one of Doofenshmirtz’s big character traits is being a dad. He is literally good with kids, albeit in a dorky sort of way. But a dorky personality is pretty much expected for science teachers. I could definitely see him getting a reputation as the teacher that’s “a little out there but really fun to have. also gives advice about things like college if you ask—he has some bit about going to evil school but other than that solid advice”

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

I do have a part 2 of the waterfront au smut coming, but in the meantime, I wanted to lay some groundwork for the au itself:

Kara is adopted into the Kent Family, an old fishing family in the Carolinas with a history of drug smuggling. Ma and Pa Kent love her, but she never once believes they love her as much as their actual son, Clark. It's plain in the way they promote him to run the fishery despite his various fumbles and bumbles throughout the years, while keeping Kara front of house at the restaurant (which she hates and resents). It smacks of expectations to stand there and look pretty while the men do the real work.

Clark doesn't have Kara's business sense, nor her knack with numbers. Within just a few years under Clark's control, the family business is at risk of going under and taking the family name down with it. So when Clark is approached by some drug dealers to run shipments for them in exchange for some quick money, Clark takes the offer, unwittingly ensaring the family in a web of cartels and rival familes, and putting their lines in jeopardy.

Kara is the first to realize what Clark's doing. She goes rooting in his ledgers to find evidence of poor management to show Ma and Pa Kent, proof that Clark was the wrong choice to take the lead. Instead she finds evidence of the smuggling, and instead of bringing it to Ma and Pa, she brings it to her lover-- DEA Agent Lena Walsh-- with a plan to take Clark down for good. After all, Kara can't say for sure that Pa Kent won't turn a blind eye to Clark's actions: he's done it before, and though Pa himself got out of the game when his own father died, smuggling *is* the Kent family way. He wouldn't hold Clark accountable.

So the DEA will.

Lena is eager for the chance. It would be a big notch in her belt as an agent, and would look good on her resume. But more importantly, it would get Kara where she wants to be. Kara would run the fishery and the family restaurant, and the family will prosper, which will then fuel the economy of the little beach town of Havenport.

But before Kara and Lena can move in on Clark, he's double-crossed by his supplier, sparking a chain of events that will threaten the lives of the entire Kent family-- and the lives of everyone they love.

[mattastr0phic]

We've been into Dungeon Meshi for years and only now am I realizing that Myriad has a combination of both Kabru and Laios's autisms and has funneled it into being obsessive over the creature that is his fieldwork partner who he wants to study so intensely it feels like a form of worship. I think he and Laios would get along SO well chatting about monster ecology and anatomy.